The Question You’ve Been Asking Is the Wrong One

Most of us leave the doctor’s office with a printout, a range highlighted in green, and the words: your labs are normal.

And yet.

You’re exhausted by noon. Your eyes feel dry and scratchy. Your gut is sluggish. Your thoughts feel like they’re moving through fog. Your anxiety spikes without warning. You don’t feel bad exactly, but you don’t feel well either.

You go home and tell yourself: at least my labs are normal.

Here’s the thing no one tells you: normal and optimal are not the same thing.

The reference ranges on your lab work are built from population averages. They tell you where most people land. They don’t tell you where you function best. They don’t ask what your body needs to feel clear, energized, lubricated, grounded. They don’t ask what thriving looks like for you specifically, your age, your hormonal rhythm, your nervous system, your history.

They just tell you: you’re not sick enough to be outside the range.

That is a very low bar to clear. “working well” actually feels like

This is what I watch for in my clients. This is what I watch for in myself. Not numbers on a page, a body that is genuinely supported.

No brain fog. Your thoughts arrive clean. You can follow a thread, finish a sentence, hold a idea.

Less fatigue. You wake up and have something to give the day. You don’t need three coffees to feel human. You don’t crash at 3pm like you hit a wall.

Lubricated yes, all the membranes. Eyes that aren’t dry and burning. A gut that moves with ease. A vagina that doesn’t feel like sandpaper. This one sounds small. It isn’t. When your mucous membranes are dry, it’s your body asking a question about hydration, inflammation, hormones, and more. Your body is telling you something.

Performing at your best. Cognitively, physically, emotionally. Not perfect but present. Available. Able to show up for your work, your relationships, your own inner life.

No anxiety spiral around any of it. When your body is supported, it stops sending distress signals. You stop monitoring yourself constantly. You stop bracing. There is something that feels like ease and that ease is information too.

A different question to bring to your body

In Endobiogeny, the system of medicine I practice, we don’t ask: are you within the range? We ask: what does this person’s terrain need to function well?

We look at the relationships between hormones, not just their individual values. We look at your nervous system’s tone. We look at what the numbers are saying together, not in isolation.

And then we ask: what is this body asking for?

That question is a more generous one. It starts from the assumption that your body is trying to tell you something useful, not that it’s failing some arbitrary test.

What to bring to your next appointment

You don’t have to accept ‘normal’ as the answer if you still feel unwell. You are allowed to say:

My labs are in range, but I want to understand what optimal looks like for me.

I want to know if there’s anything here that’s in range but trending low.

I want to understand the connections between these numbers, not just each one on its own.

You deserve to feel well, not just to be told you’re not sick.

There is a difference. And you know it in your body, even when the printout says otherwise.

If you’re curious about what an Endobiogeny lens could reveal about your terrain, I offer individual sessions in both English and French. Sometimes a different question changes everything.

With love,
Marine Sélénée