protecting our children
Right now in France, there is a serious crisis around sexual predators and pedophiles, and our justice system is failing our children. Not protecting them. Not doing what needs to be done.
And I want to say this clearly, knowing it may not be a comfortable position: when it comes to predators who harm children, I don't believe there is much room left for anything other than removing them from society permanently. I'm not saying this lightly, and I don't say it to hurt anyone. But those children, those teenagers, those families left to carry the grief and the despair, they never fully recover. Not entirely. They learn to live with the pain. That's it. That's what's left for them.
What upsets me most is this: for the past 12 years, I have tried to be a safe place, I hope, for many clients who survived abuse, molestation, and rape. And here is what I've learned: acknowledging what happened is one thing. Living with it is another entirely.
Continuing to embrace life. Love. Trusting men, because so often, that's where the harm came from. Trusting women. Trusting your own body again. None of this happens quickly. It takes time. It takes presence. And it takes an extraordinary amount of courage.
On my own level, I have simply tried to hold space for that process. Because the truth is, most survivors couldn't speak about it when it happened. There is shame. Guilt. Shock. Sometimes a complete blackout. The body's first instinct is to protect itself, to erase, to disconnect, to keep going, to keep surviving. So you build your life around the wound instead of through it, because you don't know what will happen if you finally face it.
Sometimes that reckoning comes a few years later. Sometimes it comes thirty years later.
For me, I was finally able to fully release it after 14 years.
And I know, without question, that part of why I never wanted to become a mother is because I could not bear the risk of watching my child suffer something I couldn't protect them from. But as an aunt, my heart now lives outside of me, with my nephews and my niece. And I know that if anyone ever hurt them, I would give my life without hesitation. It wouldn't undo the suffering. It wouldn't erase what happened. But at least they would know their family would do absolutely anything to try to repair what can never fully be repaired.
I hope our government finds the courage to act. Our children are our future, and protecting them should never be a divided issue.
With love,
Marine Sélénée