Commitment

March 31, 2020

“More than 15 years ago, my healing journey began. It started with EMDR Therapy and the work that we did together was very valuable. However, from time to time, I just did not want to go. It was nothing personal against her, I just had no willpower to drive to her office and speak for 1 hour. In those moments of self-doubt, I remember being weary, sad and not knowing where all of that work together was going to lead. But, despite those feelings I always ended up seeing her. That  commitment lasted for almost three years before moving to America and I have no regrets about it. She saved me. She was my lighthouse while navigating on my very agitated sea. She gave me a voice, and allowed me to build that strong foundation that was going to support me until now.” 

My healing journey was not easy. I was pretty reluctant and sarcastic about it. Especially in America when I started diving deeper in that new movement of self-help books and healers as Gabrielle Bernstein, Marianne Williamson and Wayne Dyer. I was able to understand the importance of having a healthy routine but after a few days, I was just stopping it or trying a new one. For a few years, I had no consistency within it. It was taking too long or it was too much work or it was too expensive and so on… I was not connected and dedicated to it. So, of course I started being more depressed and pessimistic in regard to my life and myself. 

“What was wrong with me?” 

“It’s because you should see that healer. No, it’s because you don’t breathe. No, it’s because you don’t believe. No, it’s because you are too strong. No, it’s because you are tough. No, it’s because your heart is not opened. No, it’s because ….. and blablabla…” 

I heard so many ‘shitty’ reasons that, at some point, I stopped listening and I made the commitment to be responsible for my own life. (PS: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. So, run away from those people that make you feel feeling wrong.”) 

Actually, I was the only one who knew what I needed and this is how, slowly but surely, I started encountering people that were going to guide me to my next step and so on. 

Not all of the tools and healing modalities that we have the chance to have right now will be helpful for you. And, you know what… It’s okay. Be picky! It’s about you and your life. Find things that are aligned to what you believe in. And, you will see that maybe right now that method is not for you, but in a few months, you will give it a try. Just stay opened. 

First of all, you need to feel connected to the method. Then, you need to trust the practitioner, therapist or healer. I would say that the connection has to happen right away. It is so vulnerable to open your healing journey to someone else that you better feel 100% comfortable with him or her. And, it’s not because something worked for your friend that it is supposed to work with you. Again, we are all different and we don’t react the same way. And, finally the last but probably most important ingredient is the commitment that you will have toward your healing journey. 

Some days, you will be moody and have a lack of motivation but you still need to go. Those days are made to test your engagement. Those days are your own resistance towards your healing. And, you cannot give up even though the session won’t be as great as it could be, by just showing up you will prove to yourself that “Yes, I’m still doing it. I’m still standing and I don’t need to be perfect to show up.”

Remember that it takes courage to be happy so be proud of all of the steps that you’ve been taking. It’s not easy to dive deeper in our shadows, to be aware of our qualities and flaws but it is so rewarding to finally know yourself better that soon enough, you will see the benefits of it. 

Family Constellations has been my longest commitment in my healing journey. I started in 2012 and since then, I’ve been devoted to it because for me, it is not only a therapy but it’s a philosophy of life. Of course, I’ve been trying new things just out of curiosity but every time, my heart goes back to the basics, to the roots, to the foundation of having respect and acceptance towards my life. Taking responsibility for what I want to give and receive. Talking to my inner child. Respecting the order. And, enjoying my life. 

Because, at the end of the day, your healing journey has no destination. Every day, we practice a new teaching, we get a new healing and that’s the beauty of the work. 

So, commit to your healing. Show up to it. And, remember that at some point, you will feel in your core that you’re done and you need to put into practice everything that you have been learning, you won’t feel ready but you will be. 

And, never stop believing in yourself. Never stop knowing that you are deeply supported. And, if one day, you feel shaky again, just have the reflex to call right away someone, because your life deserves the best and you don’t need to wait forever to feel great again. 

Commit to your life. Commit to your happiness. And, the rest will follow. 

Marine Sélénée