When did Love become a list?

There's nothing wrong with knowing what you want. But there is something worth examining when that list becomes the reason you stop being curious about the person standing right in front of you.

Because here's what I've come to believe: the list is often not about love at all. It's about fear. Fear of falling. Fear of being truly seen. Fear of opening your heart again after it's already been broken once, or twice, or more times than you'd like to admit.

The list feels safe. The list feels like control. But love has never been controllable.

We're also told we need someone who mirrors us, same passions, same vision, same world. And yet some of the most beautiful relationships I've ever witnessed have been built between people who couldn't be more different on the surface, but who felt something profound and undeniable together.

Because at the end of the day, it's not about your external world matching. It's about how you feel on the inside when you're with that person.

Do you feel safe? At peace? Seen? Loved? Quiet in a way that doesn't bore you, but grounds you? A little scared, but lit up at the same time?

If yes, be curious. Even if they don't check your boxes. Even if they surprised you. Even if you weren't expecting them.

Love has become so individualistic. So transactional. So focused on finding a perfect reflection of ourselves. But love is not a mirror, it's a meeting. A partnership. A choice you make together, every day.

Stop chasing a copy of yourself. True love is usually waiting in the opposite direction.

With love,
Marine Sélénée