Are you doing it for you—or for others?

Are you doing it for you—or for others?
Are you eating clean for your own well-being, or to meet someone else’s expectations?
Are you in a relationship to feel complete, or do you already know you are whole?
Are you working with your therapist so they are proud of you, or because you are proud of yourself?

Co-dependency can be tricky. Of course we all want to be seen, heard, and acknowledged—that’s human. But if we keep chasing external validation to feel safe, confident, loved, or joyful, we set ourselves up for frustration and anxiety. Why? Because we have no control over the external world.

A few days ago, a friend told me he wanted to make someone else happy to "win" them over. And I said, “But that’s impossible.” Someone else’s happiness isn’t something you can control. You can try to offer what you think they need, but have you ever considered that they might not even know what makes them happy? That’s even trickier. That’s the eternal unsatisfied self.

You are not here to make others happy. You are here to be happy—and from that place, to share your joy. From there, it either clicks or it doesn’t. It forms a bond or it doesn’t. But when you finally count on you, when you understand that everything starts within, you stop chasing and start attracting.

The external world is simply a projection of who you believe you are and what you believe you deserve.
Believe in yourself—and the world will begin to reflect that belief back to you.

With love,
Marine Sélénée