Our thoughts can be misleading. They’re shaped by past experiences, societal expectations, and our moods from day to day. This internal chatter often leans towards negativity, filling our minds with doubts like "I’m not good enough," "I can’t do this," or "I’ll never succeed." But these thoughts aren’t facts; they’re just stories we tell ourselves.

In Family Constellations Therapy, we often discuss the irresponsible or abusive parent. But what about the mother who seems perfect? The one who presents herself well, is admired by everyone, runs a successful business, is beautiful, and has a lovely relationship with her husband. She’s like a picture of perfection. But what's the subconscious impact on her children?

What does it mean to be a good parent? It’s when your children feel free to be selfish with their emotions and feelings. Even as adults, their emotions matter more than yours. This doesn’t mean they’re spoiled—it means you did an amazing job staying in your role as a parent without expecting your children to manage your emotions.

What I like about Family Constellations is the power of acknowledging. We don't go over and over the same details or revisit the same pain. No, instead we acknowledge, recognize, and consent. Then we move on into the present moment where the therapeutic work is going to be more efficient because the client is now in their power. 

The fear of doing better, the fear of being happier, the fear of having it all—these are fears that can weigh heavily on us. “It’s too good to be true,” we tell ourselves, or we look back at our ancestors' struggles and think, “How can I deserve more when they had so little?”

The first betrayal in life often begins with our parents. As a newborn, you enter the world with an inherent expectation of unconditional love, care, and a smooth journey ahead. You believe, instinctively, that you will be loved the way you need and want to be loved. But soon, reality sets in, and you start to realize that things aren’t as perfect as you imagined.