September 26, 2019

How is your inner child doing? 
When was the last time you talked to him or her? 
Is your inner child at peace? If not, did have you asked him/her how you could help? 

Do you know what “inner child” means? 

Your inner child is the little boy / girl that you used to be. Without him or her, you wouldn’t be here as an adult. Your little-self gave birth to your adult-self and now it’s your turn to shelter him / her. 

How do I make the difference between my inner child and adult self? 

When you react like a child, for heaven’s sake! 

When your emotions / feelings are just so strong and vivid that you deal with them for hours, if not forever (or at least, it feels like that!). 

Normally, as an adult, we do know what to do and how to process things, as a child it’s another story. If, we did not feel seen, heard and recognized by our family and especially our parents, we’ll have to take care of it as an adult. And, by taking care of it, I mean healing / recovering from the lack of attention, love, care and so on. 

So, whenever your reaction is way disproportionate compared to the situation in itself, you can be sure that “Little You” is still dealing with painful memories and this is where you step in. 

As an adult, your role is to serve your inner child. If your inner child is still angry, the adult that you will become will be as well. All of your frustrations, pains, worries, are not from your present. Most of them (if not all of them) are from your past – and the period that is especially involved and influenced your emotions, feelings and way of reacting is from your birth (I’d even add the period of pregnancy. It has a strong influence on you, too) until 6 years old. 

By healing your inner child, you will set yourself free. 

So, what happened to your little boy / girl between the conception to 6 years oldDo youremember your feelings toward that period? Any specific situations? If you have no memory, ask your parents / legal guardians / siblings.And, do not worry if you cannot recall the feelings, by knowing the different events, it already gives us important clues in regards to the atmosphere in the household. 

For example, my mother shared that memory with me because I did not remember it however, I was dealing with it for years… The fear of abandonment. When I was 2 years old, my parents went to Thailand together. I was too little to go with them and so I was going to stay with my nanny and my maternal grandparents that I love so much. My mother was packing and I asked her where we were going (So smart, luggage = going somewhere) and my mother thinking that she was doing great, told me that it was nothing. The day after, she dropped me at my nanny’s place. At night, my parents did not pick me up it was my grandmother and of course, I was probably happy to see her however, I was also probably surprised that my mother was not there. And, it lasted 10 days and when my parents finally came back and picked me up at my nanny’s place, my mom told me that when she opened her arms to hug me, I did not go to her. And, at that moment she knew she did something “wrong”. 

By not telling me the truth, I probably felt anxious and so abandoned by them. 

Of course, my mother wanted to do her best and she did not want to hurt me but it happened and I processed it as a little girl with her own tools. 

Good news is, after a deep work with my inner child, that fear got resolved. 

How do I connect to my inner child? 

Take a minute and feel the connection or disconnection you have with your inner child. 
Do you welcome him/her or do you shut him/her out? 
Do you sense he/she welcomes me? 
Is your body relaxed or tight as you visualize him/her? 

You can also write a letter to your inner child saying that you recognize his or her presence and you will do everything you can to heal his/her wounds. After writing a few letters to your inner child, then you can notice if your inner child has something to write back! 

From my understanding and after years of therapies and healing modalities and for the past 7 years working with so many incredible clients, I do think that being an adult means no longer being scared of our inner child’s shadow.

We have to be here for that part of ourselves that witnessed so many things and couldn’t do much to protect himself or herself. We have to give him / her a voice and slowly but surely, reconnect with that first foundation. 

Otherwise, how possibly, could the second foundation of your life be held? 

Marine Sélénée