March 30, 2021


A big word.
A scary word. 
An overwhelming word. 

Being responsible. 

One word that differentiates childhood from adulthood.
One word that can make a huge difference in your life. 
One word that can create a meaningful and powerful healing. 
One word that will change everything if you commit to it. 

Are you ready? 

Are you ready to be responsible for your behavior?
Are you ready to be responsible for your decisions? 
Are you ready to be responsible for your career? 
Are you ready to be responsible for what you want to manifest in your life? 
Are you ready to be responsible for your love life?
Are you ready to be responsible for your healing? 
Are you ready to be responsible for your life? 

In Family Constellations Therapy (actually in any type of therapy), being committed to our healing, being responsible for it will always create the shift from where we are and where we want to go. 

Of course, authentic healing does not consist of running away from the pain and desperately hoping to reach our peacefulness in a foreseeable future. It’s actually to recognize that we are already complete and at peace, in the here and now, in the middle of the painful experience. Because, it is only an experience, it does not define your entire life. Healing is acknowledging that we are already whole. We won’t be healed one day, we are already healed. We are already whole and complete even though we are not aware of it yet. 

Keep in mind that even in the midst of a terrible pain, you are healed. 

And, by being responsible for our journey, for our destiny, we will accept that pain is also part of Life. It’s part of the experience, and of course we can say that it sucks (!), endlessly complain about it but if we change our perception towards it, just recognizing it, just feeling it, just making room for it in order to understand it better, we will, first feel less resistance to that overwhelming wave of emotions and then, we will learn to surf with it. 

Being responsible is also letting  go of the past story because again, our suffering is not because of the story in itself, it’s how we’ve been holding on to it that creates that unbearable tension in our diaphragm, chest, throat (…). We are fighting it, we don’t want to feel it anymore, we think that we’ve done the job and enough is enough, but every day we can get triggered again by the most random situations or encounters and as a matter of fact, as a protection, our body will automatically shift to survival mode and this is our duty to reassure it, to calm ourselves down and give ourselves more compassion and love during that terrible time. 

Healing is a journey, not a destination. Some days, we will thrive, and some others we will only want to hide! And, it’s okay… 

How many times have I thought that I failed myself? A lot. 

It’s just part of life, that funny life, that unbelievable adventure that sometimes we want OUT while actually, we just want to see more… That’s why, there is faith and hope. 

By being responsible for our adulthood, we just set up ourselves for an amazing life where we will recognize that it’s up to us and that the world is for us and nothing is against us. It’s releasing the need of changing others for being more at ease, it’s having the intelligence of communicating what we need in a gentle way, it’s accepting what was and being fully in the what is. It’s bringing back together what was once separated and every day, committed to keep our pieces together. 

I’m responsible. 
You are responsible. 
We are responsible. 

Marine Sélénée