Resistance

June 11, 2018

In therapy, there is always a period where resistance may be stronger than the strong desire to be healed and so to move on.

There is nothing wrong with it. It’s just a protection – protection against Happiness, against finally reaching that state of my mind that we invested in it.

Why?

Because it’s scary.

It’s frightening to be happy. Because we are afraid of the end of it.

Being depressed, sad, miserable and so on is easier. In a way, we know how to deal with it, it may even be seen sometimes as part of our identity, it’s comforting. We know what to do with anxiety, feeling lonely, but we don’t know what to do with happiness. Always looking for the next obstacle, slap…

It’s like when you are in Love and suddenly, a break up and your body is so painful, you can hardly breathe and you think how unfair it is. Yesterday you were happy, the world was yours and today, you feel miserable and broken. Some people won’t let that break-up destroy their vision of Love, others will become cruel with their next partner or shut down their heart because the pain was unbearable.

It’s a choice. Life is made of choices.

And, resistance is part of healing. It’s a natural thing to want to protect ourselves. There is nothing wrong with it as long as we are aware of it.

It may take a few days to subdue the fear of being happy but normally, it shall pass.

However, if you cannot harness that fear of finally spreading your wings, please don’t see it as a failure, you just need more time.

Everyone wants to rush the process of healing. But, as I always say: “How do you want to heal in 1-hr?” It’s a commitment. And, yes most of the time, it’s at least one year. It’s been 35 years that your belief is that you are not enough and you don’t deserve to be happy, of course in a hour, you can get a new perception, a new vision but there is still work to do and when you finally invest in yourself, when you bring compassion toward yourself and your healing, things will start shifting.

What is a year in an entire Life? Nothing. But, it can also be the beginning of everything.

So, do you dare?