October 25, 2018

Being seen.

Being heard.

Being recognized.

Since I started my partnership with Family Constellations, those three phrases have been continuously in my mind. Plus, in my private practice, it is one of the things that I want to pass on to any of my clients.

I want them to be and feel seen, to be and feel heard and to be and feel recognized.

Why that?

Because, with those three elements, your life is yours. You are free to go wherever you want, do whatever you do, try again and again without fearing that, at the end, no one will be there for you.

By knowing that you are seen, heard and recognized, you are invincible. And not in the way of being a superhero, always strong, always fierce, always bold… NO! By being always YOU and not being afraid of being YOU. Meaning sometimes, you will feel vulnerable, lonely, concerned, happy, moody and so on. But, who cares because you will just be aligned with your moment and here lies your greatest power: Being who you are and not who others wanted you to be or who you thought they would expect you to be.

If every child would feel seen, heard and recognized, I can guarantee you that we would rock our adult’s years. And again, we won’t avoid the ups and downs from life, but we will have that unbreakable faith that everything will work out and come together. We will be less doubtful, fearful and judgmental. For the simple reason, that we would be in love with ourselves and therefore in love with others. And, not fearing others’ reactions, judgments, criticisms is again another priceless gift!

And, right now you may be like: “Ok, Marine, it’s great what you are saying but how as an adult can I feel seen, heard and recognized? Because, I truly missed it when I was a child?”

Of course, my first two words would be: Family Constellations.

But, maybe you don’t want to do a Family Constellation. Maybe, you want to take care of it on your own and this is more than fine with me.

Here are two exercises  that you can do / practice in order to enhance “Being seen. Being heard. Being recognized.”:


Stand in front of a mirror and carry out a 1:1 family constellation with yourself, saying: “I love you…. (Say your own name) with all my heart. I see you with all my heart. I hear you with all my heart. I recognize you with all my heart.” Repeat these sentences several times and smile for 30 seconds, as this is how long it takes for every cell in your body to receive the endorphin rush.

Write a letter to your inner child 

You can write a letter of one, two, or three pages to the little child in you to say that you recognize his or her presence and you will do everything you can to heal his wounds. After writing a few letters to your inner child, then you can notice if the inner child has something to write back.

Other than that, I’d greatly recommend you to experience a Family Constellation to see when in your family, the flow of being seen, heard and recognized stopped.

Because, don’t blame your parents. If they were not able to offer you those three magic phrases, it’s probably because they did not receive them either.

And again, here you can be the change. You can be the one claiming out loud: “Now, it’s over. Everyone belongs. I give a place to all of my family members and I accept and respect all of you as you are.” How liberating it is!

You have the right to break free. You have the right to ask for more and by doing this for your own life, it will have a beautiful impact and influence on the former generations and the future ones.

Why not share that gift?

I see you. I recognize you. I hear you.