Love

January 30, 2019

We all know about Love. We all know what it is. We all know the feeling of being loved. We all want Love in our lives.

But, as soon as we think an experience is out of Love, we give up on it. We become afraid of it.

Love turns into our enemy and so we become our own enemy.

We think that Love forgot about us and gave up on us.

Do we really think that Love can give up on us?

Isn’t it the opposite?

We are Love.

We are the vision of Love.

Love exists through us, within us.

We define Love.

Love starts with us.

Whenever we think Love betrays us because right now, we are suffering, we are not able to see the silver lining, we instantly accuse Love of leaving us. While, actually we give up on Love. We sabotage the feeling of Love. We hurt Love. We leave Love.

—–

February is the month of Love because of Valentine’s day. I actually hope that you do not wait for February to come to celebrate Love.

Love is every day. Or supposedly.

Sometimes, it might be hard to see through the lens of Love. And, this is what I want to address with my writing: Love after being hurt.

I’m interested in the rebirth after having our heart broken. I’m interested in those people who still believe in Love in spite of the sufferings and tears. I’m interested in the ones who are single – in spite of their will of being with someone – and still believe in Love. I want to acknowledge those people that can be unfairly judged or criticized. I want to recognize the strength that it takes to go back to Love.

Today, I want to write on Love after…

After a break-up.

After death.

After a rape.

After violence abuse.

After being fired.

After being hurt.

After being betrayed.

After a miscarriage.

After a divorce.

After an infidelity.

After running away from war.

“Have enough courage to trust Love one more time and always one more time.” Maya Angelou

Most of the clients that I see, their issues are always connected to a lack of Love.

Where there is a lack of Love, there is doubt.

Where there is a lack of love, there is anger.

Where there is a lack of love, there is rage.

Where there is a lack of love, there is depression.

Where there is a lack of love, there is resistance.

Where there is lack of love, there is resentment.

The list goes on.

So, when Love is finally reconnected to his/her life, I give myself permission to tell my client that he/she is ready to go and enjoy his/her life to the fullest.

From my perception, therapy symbolizes the reunion with Love.

Yet, before celebrating the reunion, there is work to do. Especially in the surrendering and trusting again.

We all know that feeling of suffering. We do not appreciate it. We want to run away from it. We want to avoid it.

Why does it hurt so much?

Are we also in charge of the intensity of discomfort? By not acknowledging it and so taking care of it, do we let that perception grow more and more within our depths? Almost unbearable. Almost unbreathable.

Do we create that numbness?

It’s a way of surviving.

But, can it really last forever?

Pretending to not feel anything anymore. Pretending that it never existed. Pretending that we are opened to Love while actually, there is an army of our inner soldiers ready to fight any new moves coming from Love.

It’s hard to reconnect with Love. Therefore with Life.

It’s even harder when you feel judged by people. People judge. But they don’t judge others. They judge their own fears. They just project their judgments on others, easier to deal with.

They judge the widow who falls in Love again. They judge the mom-to-be of being too old. They judge the difference of age between the two partners. They judge that after a difficult and violent relationship, you are finally at peace with yourself. They judge that after being fired, you are a successful business man/woman.

The risk is to give more attention to the judgment than to your Love.

—–

I work with clients who were sexually or physically abused.

With that dynamic, there is the first part when you acknowledge what happened and then there is the other part, when you embrace again your life.

Most of the time, the acknowledgement part is easier to process than the embracing one.

Why?

Because for days, months, even years, we’ve identified with being a ‘victim’. So, when we are at the edge of breaking free from that untrue definition, we might want to step backwards.

Who am I without my victim status?

Who am I without anger?

Who am I without depression?

Who am I without rage?

Who am I without hate?

You are Love.

And, that is scary. That is bold. That is courageous.

That is vital to embrace.

However, it is your choice. On your own timing.

I trust you will choose Love.

No matter how bad your heart was broken. No matter how much your expectations were trampled on. No matter how much you suffered.

You still have the right to Love and be Loved. You still have the right to hold your chin up. You still have the right to show your scars while smiling to Life. You still have the right to show up with your beautiful body. You still have the right to believe. You still have the right to experience pleasure.

You still have the right to be YOU.

As stated to be Love.

Marine Sélénée