How Long?

December 4, 2017

Even though we will work on ourselves during our entire life, I think it’s important to know how much time we want to spend doing a deep work on ourselves, going to the roots of the problem and not only surfing on it?

It is also important to know if we want to heal and feel better or if we just want to share our problems but actually not really looking for a solution.

I know right now you may think, “Come on Marine, everyone wants to be happy.” Well, after 5 years of practice, a lot of years of friendships and meeting new people, it’s not that easy! Obviously, we all want to be happy but when the opportunity is in front of us, when the moment of spreading our wings arrives, some of us will make a U-turn, the frightening-ness  of being content.

It takes more courage to bet on happiness than on feeling ‘so-so’! How many of your friends complain about their lives? How many of them take actions in order to change their lives? What about you? Do you complain about a few things but still find excuses that give you proof of, “this is why I couldn’t do it”?

The recurring question that I get with new clients is “How long is it going to take?” Well, I don’t know! I can give an average but then I cannot quantify how much your commitment and determination is. It depends on you, too. Don’t think anything is wrong with doing a deeper work, but rather that it’s right; there is a duty and actually it plays a lot in the balance for a great achievement.  I spent a few years working on myself because I was convinced that the best investment in my entire life will be an investment on myself, knowing myself, understanding myself and, at some point, healing myself. Again, it’s a choice.

Yes, you can meditate, practice breathwork, do acupuncture/Reiki and attend a few retreats but, at the end, those amazing tools won’t offer you the result of therapy or a modality that goes deeper in your roots and unconsciousness. And this is what I loved about Family Constellations, after one year I was finally able to move on! I’ve never worked again on any subjects that I healed through Family Constellations. I worked hard, sometimes I wanted to give up, I couldn’t see the end of it but I was determined to be happy and this is why I never gave up.

Through Family Constellations, in one year, you may (I employ ‘may’ because everyone is different and I don’t want to give false hopes to anyone) save you ten years of regular therapy! Most of my clients do 1 to 2 years of work with me and then they are free to fly on their own! Sometimes, even less.

Talking is great, I did it for a few years and even though I felt better after it, my complete awakening and realization came from Family Constellations. Through that process, you cannot manipulate the truth neither the story, because your emotions, body, feelings will take care of it. Yes, you will feel vulnerable, yes it may be intense for the first sessions but such a relief after! Being able to understand your story, healing from it and then passing it on! It’s like the hitting three 7’s at the slot machine!

It’s for this reason that I did not start as a psychologist in my career, but decided to move to America and was then introduced to Family Constellations for my personal growth. More about it in my book!

I’m a woman of action.  This is what saved me. I’m a woman who believes that every day, you can change and make the decision to write a different story, your story with your own beliefs. There is no fatality in life except if you want to believe in it. Nothing from your past, nothing from your family system has the power to define you except if you allow it to and this is where I play my card, I can be on your side and do the work with you.

You have the right to enjoy your life and you don’t need to do 10 years of intense work. Do the work, do it properly with a strong commitment and then have fun with all of the tools that are close at hand.

One of my mentors, Michelle Blechner used to tell me: “Marine, Life is fun, don’t take it too seriously.” Well, the more I grow up, the more I know she was (and still is) right!   

So, 10 years or 1 year?