December 30, 2018

January is here with all the expectations, wishes and intentions that go with it.  

I’m not going to lie, I already expect a lot from this New Year. I’ve already put a lot of pressure on it.

Or, is it on me?

I await for a contract with a publishing house, a house that will be mine with a car in the driveway, a soul mate, exciting opportunities at work, a lot of trips, reimbursing my debts and so much more.

As you can see, while the New Year has just started, my to-do list is complete!

And my stress level is at full speed.

Isn’t it crazy?


I’m not the only one planning ahead a new year, a new month, a new week, a new relationship, a new opportunity and so on. Are we the control freak ones? The ones that are afraid of losing the mastery of our lives? Of suffering? Of thinking that we are not enough? Of not trusting?

We expect a lot. We give a lot. We sacrifice a lot. We live in a fantasy world and we do everything in our power to match the reality of our existence with that fabulous fairy tale.

Most of the time, it’s a failure and so it gives room to disappointment, frustration, complaints and ultimately the victim mindset: “what’s wrong with me?”


Or, if there is one thing, it’s the fear of reality, our reality that makes us think that we are not enough or we probably did something stupid at some point. Some of us might even think that we are cursed.

Again, none of those are real. It’s only fake beliefs.

How many clients did I meet who live in a ‘fantasy’ world meaning with a lot of expectations? Experiencing two parallel lives, desperately hoping that those two will merge and create perfection.  

That behavior is mainly based on a refusal of being sad again, such as having our heart broken again or being disappointed again by not getting the raise that was expected or suffering again from losing one of our dear ones.

Suffering is part of Life but we are still pretty resistant toward it. Always trying to find a solution in order to avoid it. And, it’s actually by avoiding it that we suffer the most.

Accepting suffering as part of Life can create tremendous peace. Same thing with life and death – light and shadow – love and hate.

The acceptance of the two opposites ultimately creates a balance. How can we be grateful for the light without the shadow? How can we be grateful for rain without an arid weather? How can we be grateful to love again without suffering?

Our expectations are a manner of controlling our foreseeable future. We’re already so petrified to have no domination over our boyfriend, raise, weight and so on that we invent an imaginary world where everything is possible and we are in charge of everything.

This is not Life. This is not relationship.

This is a movie. This is a fairy tale. This is a pipe dream.


I completely respect your choice if you still want to evolve in Disney’s world.

However, I hope that one day, you will find the magic in the reality of Life.

Yes, magic does exist.

And, it starts within you.

So, for this New Year, I’m going to burn my to-do list and I’m going to do my best to surrender to the reality of my life. I’m not making any promises that I won’t be freaking out sometimes, that I’ll want to control an outcome, but I will do my best.

You see, what’s great with reality is nothing is perfect but we are all doing our best. We are alive. We make mistakes. We apologize. We move on. We are resilient. We survive. We love. We feel. We smile.

So, keep doing your best and F*** the rest!

Wishing you a Fabulous New Year that was not at all expected but turned out to be one of the most amazing ones of your life.

Marine Sélénée