Existence

December 30, 2020

“And do what?” 

“Nothing. Just exist.” 

Doing. Doing. Doing. 

Until now, I was in the “doing”. Always thinking of my next blog, next client, next adventure, next apartment, next lover, next… next… next… The endless race of what’s to come next without appreciating the present moment. 

At the beginning of December, I visited my friends in Beacon and we were talking about Life, what we were looking for, what we wanted to manifest and at some point, my friend Miguel shared an interesting point of view in regard to that sentence that we all know well: “The best is yet to come.” 

From his perception, it meant that the best would never be here, because we will be constantly chasing what’s next, what’s better, what’s enough… Again, the endless race of doing, expecting a miracle that at some point, we will finally feel and be enough. 

For him, the best is now. And I concur with him – The best is now. What’s yet to come? Who cares? We are creating the “yet to come”, our past six months have been building the next six months of our life and, if we are aligned with who we are and what we want, we will always be amazed by the “what’s to come”. 

The real question is, if we are not happy where we are at that moment, what can we do differently? So, then we do not need to desperately think, that ultimately, something better will arrive. We are already in charge of our life and that’s powerful. That’s our responsibility as adults to understand what we find necessary for our well-being, and then we go get it. 

So, here is a list of questions that hopefully will help anyone looking for more alignment with their true self. These questions are based on the principles of Family Constellations Therapy. 

Feeling 

Close your eyes and sense inside of you:

Which side in you is stronger, the right or the left? 
What is stronger in you, above or below? 
What is stronger, your relationship to your mother or the relationship to your father? 
If you have children of both sexes, to which child is the connection stronger, to your son or to your daughter?

Grounding 

Take a minute and feel the connection or disconnection you have with your parents. Regardless of the story you have about them, feel the relationship and how it affects your body physically. Visualize your biological parents standing in front of you. If you have never met them or cannot visualize them, just let yourself sense their presence. Hold the image and ask yourself the following: 

Do I welcome them, or do I shut them out? 
Do I sense they welcome me? 
Do I experience one differently from the other? 
Is my body relaxed or tight as I visualize them? 

Loving

Stand in front of a mirror and carry out a 1:1 family constellation with yourself, saying: “I love you…. (Say your own name) with all my heart.” Repeat this sentence several times and smile for 30 seconds, as this is how long it takes for every cell in your body to receive the endorphin rush. 

Succeeding

Who am I?
What is my true place in life? 
What are my goals? 
What can I offer to Life? 

As for now, I’m in the Being. I’m existing. 

And, for the first time of my life, I can finally hear my heartbeats. 

Marine Sélénée