A beginning depends on an ending.
How many times did I calm down myself during difficult times, transitioning ones, break-up ones with the thought “You need an ending in order to begin something new, in order to make room for the next opportunity and encounter.” ?
How many times did I resist that thought, thinking that it was pointless, that others were doing better, that for them it was so easy, so flowing, while for me it was so painful, unfair, and I couldn’t see the end of the tunnel?
How many times did I comfort people who thought that they couldn’t overcome that ending, surviving to that new transition, feeling again that intense pain and doing their best to understand it?
How many times was I afraid of that new dawn, new chance, new chapter, new love, new step?
And, how many times did I think it was so silly to be reluctant to that new opening because it was only life continuing its course?
Being apprehensive toward our next step, is being apprehensive toward Life. It’s not trusting our path and the timing of the different occurrences that punctuate our journey on Earth. It’s already putting who we are as a victim, assuming that newness and change are not made for us. It’s a condemnation. A sentence to our present moment and so our foreseeable future.
It’s judging our past, punishing our present and depreciating our future.
We are blocked. And again, we try to blame the outer world while, actually, we give the rhythm of our outer world through our inner world.
And, naturally based on that mindset, our next experiences will embrace that defeat-ness, unintentionally ruling in our favor.
The circle is vicious and if we don’t break free from it soon enough, we can go really deep into self-destruction. However, I do think that exploring our dark side can be a real blessing. It’s just a question of timing, not being eaten up by it. But again, who am I to judge the ones who want to be eaten up by it? Everyone has their own journey and everyone deserves the respect of being seen whole and complete.
Isn’t it the same for a new beginning? Perceiving it as already whole and complete and just entering that new phase with trust and faith?
Why do we lose our nerves? Why do we become frustrated? Angry? Resentful? Sad?
It’s because we think that the outer world wants to fight against us but what about us fighting against our outer world? Not agreeing to what is? And therefore sabotaging that new beginning and letting endings pending?
Who never thought that by staying single, our former partner will come back?
Who never thought that by not living our life to the fullest, the abortion that we had will be honored?
Who never thought that by being depressed, we’ll be more loved and surrounded?
Who never thought that by not making that decision, it will get resolved on its own?
How many times did we play the coward card?
We are made of habits and every time we need to let go of one of them in order to create a new one, we are frightened.
It’s the same with healing. So many people want to heal, but at the end not everyone will have enough courage to be healed.
Being healed means being responsible for our life. It means owning our successes as much as our shits. It means not apologizing anymore for who we are and what we want. It means facing a mirror and having deep love for that person.
Healing is synonymous of beginning. Healing is not about spending millions in different modalities and therapies. Healing is only agreeing to what was, what is and what will be. It is about bowing to our past, parents and ancestors. It is about honoring our present every single day and being already amazed by the future that is happening in that present moment.
Family Constellations therapy has that richness of welcoming, embracing and cherishing the past, present and future and making a solid foundation out of the three of them.
In order to not be scared by a new beginning, there is a need to be, at first, at peace with what just finished.
How do you want to be happy with your love partner if you’re still fighting and cursing your parents?
How do you want to have respect from others when you keep yelling at and insulting others?
How do you want to be abundant when you refuse to receive from others for fear of being seen as vulnerable?
Everything is connected. Everything has a place. Everything has its moment.
I don’t think we need to throw away all of the objects, clothes and theater tickets that can revive a nice memory from our past. I just think we need to know why we want to keep that letter? Is it for feeding nostalgia or true love? Is it for keeping a proof that we used to be happy?
It’s not the object in itself, the guilty one, it’s our perception toward it? Does it enhance or diminish your life?
Life will always continue and therefore new beginnings will always show up. This is how we grow. This is how we learn.
By either refusing or resisting to open that new door, it is a rejection toward Life and toward who you are.
Be part of your life. Be the main, active character.
It’s the simplest way of being truly happy.