December 31, 2021

Are you standing up with Life or Death? 

Or maybe one foot on the other? 

How do you feel with Life? 

How do you feel with Death? 

In Family Constellations Therapy, that’s one of the most common dynamics, being stuck in that in-between of Life and Death.  Not knowing where to stand because subconsciously you want to stay with the deceased ones, out of loyalty. 

By not focusing on Life, you’re condemning yourself to repeating toxic patterns, behaviors, and self-sabotage. Being clueless about it, you don’t realize that instead of standing fully with your life, you’re torn to following one of your loved ones who’s passed. Maybe it felt easier, calmer, or just the thought of letting him/her go was unbearable.  So, to feel closer to that person, you developed a ‘subconscious restriction’ of being fully present with your own existence. 

And, you know what’s happening? Just to name a few:

Self Sabotage 


Feeling of emptiness 



At some point, you will become frustrated and deploy all of your efforts to understand what’s going on with you.  You will ask what’s ‘wrong’ with me and you may never figure out the real cause of it because come on, we don’t think of these things!

Did you have an abortion? 

Did you have a miscarriage? 

Did you lose one of your parents at a young age? 

Did one of your siblings pass away? 

Were you in a car accident and you are the only survivor? 

Are you a refugee? 

Did you lose your partner? 

Is one of your children very sick? 

Of course, there is more to unveil but if you feel that ambivalence between life and death maybe it’s time for you to take a closer look at your life, your family story, and what has been going on within it. 

If, it resonates with you even though you are clueless about what could have possibly happened, do not worry! Simply write a letter of recognition acknowledging your feelings, emotions, and uncertainty towards life and death. 

And, normally you should feel lighter, more at peace with your life, more present, and have that urge of existing. 

To take care of your life, it’s also very important to embrace pleasure. Pleasure creates joy, bliss, and love.  It gives the signal to our body that we are completely and fully in the present moment, enjoying everything, connecting with what is. How beautiful and powerful it is!

So this new year, if you could give yourself the gift of being alive, receiving the gift of Life from your parents, I can guarantee you it’s going to change your entire life in the most beautiful and miraculous way that you were looking for. 

Marine Sélénée